yesterday was astonishingly beautiful. i guess the thrill of living life just as it is outweighs the obssessive necessity to get things planned and rolling. in recent conversations, i've been chatting away my ramblings about law school. it so amazes me how strangely different a person i've become from the one who entered law school two years ago. from the time i stepped foot in school, i've unhesitatingly given all my best efforts to my studies only to suddenly realize that i've entered this legal enterprise working my brains out to be average. oh well. is it me or is it just the law? looking back at what life was like before law school is like recalling a vague dream. i guess i'm so caught up in the system i'd be a gonner without it.
the guilt and the stress of being behind my reading is not only frustrating but annoying as well. and yet, it doesn't seem to be affecting me as much as i thought it would. a stark contrast to last year, i'm looking on to law school not as a personal necessity but only with passion. i've been disenchanted with all sorts of law-related things too early. and it's probably because i never really understood what this enterprise is all about. i've struggled to be minimally engaged in class and for the longest time, it's been taxing me my excitement.
scary though, for my escapist fantasies are fast becoming a reality. admittedly, a lot has to do with my routines which consume my every waking moment. i've been living it slowly and without passion--things the life of a law student is anything but. but i've made up my mind already..the law is the best way to put a productive mind to good use. it's sad to see that many have come to see law school as a burden. to those who do, i say to them, go find what your heart is after. i already found what mine seeks. and it's there for the taking.
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